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Behind The Smile

8th March 2016 by Candace 28 Comments

Is not always what you imagine.

Sometimes behind that smile is pain.

Really physical pain.

Some days

I said it.

Not really the whole truth.

Its not just limited to some days.  It happens everyday.

Some good, not being able to walk days.  Others, just normal pain days.

Pain shouldn’t be normal.

But for me it is.

Everyday.

Struggling to walk pain.

Struggling to move.

Struggling to live life.

I’m struggling to type this.  Every time a finger touches one of the keys on my keyboard, it hurts.

Really hurts.

I went to the toilet earlier.  I had to use a wheelchair to get there.

I then had to ask my daughter to pull my underwear up.  You see not only could I not bend but it hurt too much to hold it in my hand.  I just couldn’t make a grasping hand.

It hurt.

It really hurt.

Yesterday, you would look at me and think wow she looks well.

Today, you would look at me and think I look old.  Very old.  Unable to stand up straight.

Today, you would say I look sad.  Unable to move without tears rolling down my face.

Today, you would look at me and think I was broken.

But I will pick myself up and put on a smile.

The days you go out with a smile on your face, it still hurts.

It really hurts.

But you put that smile on and face the world.

Just because you see a smile, it doesn’t mean someone is not hurting.

Next time you judge someone with a disabled parking badge or using a disabled toilet.  Step back for one minute and think, well done them.  They are getting up and getting out.  It may have taken every ounce of strength to do that.  It may have taken 2 hours to shower and dress.  But they did it.  The have fought through the pain and are smiling.

Don’t judge.

You can’t always see the pain behind the smile.

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Comments

  1. Charlie says

    8th March 2016 at 8:02 AM

    It’s bloody hard, I suffer with chronic migraine. I lose approximately 20 days a month to chronic pain….and as a consequence am judged… its just horrible. Great post. I hear you.

    Reply
  2. Anosa says

    8th March 2016 at 8:27 AM

    So sorry to hear about your pain I can not imagine having pain daily and yes we shouldn’t judge for we don’t know what’s happening in the back ground.

    Reply
  3. Rhian Westbury says

    8th March 2016 at 9:44 AM

    I completely admire people like you who however tough life is you still push yourself to carry on living and doing what you want to do. My mum has had numerous operations on her ankle, bones fused together and had arthritis in her ankle and she struggles to walk sometimes and people give us funny looks when we’re in a disabled parking bay with my mums badges because sometimes she looks like she is walking relatively normally but people don’t see everything. Hope your arthritis eases up a bit x
    Rhian Westbury recently posted…My Passion For Reading in FebruaryMy Profile

    Reply
  4. Dean of Little Steps says

    8th March 2016 at 10:37 AM

    Sorry to hear about your pain Candace. Sending you virtual hugs. Hope somehow the days get better for you. xx
    Dean of Little Steps recently posted…Three Types of House ViewersMy Profile

    Reply
  5. Gaby {lifeineight.com} says

    8th March 2016 at 10:38 AM

    I’m so sorry you are going through so much pain. You are a real life fighter! xxx

    Reply
  6. Rachel says

    8th March 2016 at 11:43 AM

    Absolutely agree, people are too quick to judge sometimes when instead they should take a moment to think about what it feels to be that person x

    Reply
  7. Catherine green says

    8th March 2016 at 12:13 PM

    Thank you for articulating something that so many people have to live with every day. My Mum has fibromyalgia and she still manages to make time for her grandchildren when they want to play, even when she is suffering internally.
    Catherine green recently posted…#LookAgain My Kitchen Renovation ChallengeMy Profile

    Reply
  8. Sarah | Boo Roo and Tigger Too says

    8th March 2016 at 12:26 PM

    Nobody knows what is hidden behind the masked smile upon someone’s face. We are all to easy to judge
    Sarah | Boo Roo and Tigger Too recently posted…Boo Roo and Tigger Too {February 2016}My Profile

    Reply
  9. Ana De- Jesus says

    8th March 2016 at 5:04 PM

    Aw hun here if you need to talk and it riles me that people judge just because someone looks ‘ok’. You never really know what someone is going through and just dismissing them because they look fine is wrong and ignorant.
    Ana De- Jesus recently posted…International Women’s DayMy Profile

    Reply
  10. Baby Isabella says

    8th March 2016 at 7:18 PM

    Awww hun x a great post to raise awareness of hidden pain. Hope you get some welcomed relief from your symptoms. We admire your get-up and go x
    Baby Isabella recently posted…Going Nutty for Putty!My Profile

    Reply
  11. Ickle Pickle says

    8th March 2016 at 8:34 PM

    Beautifully written – I am so sorry to read of how you suffer. You are so right – we can’t and should not judge anyone else. Kaz x
    Ickle Pickle recently posted…My Giant Fairy Tales Activity BookMy Profile

    Reply
  12. Emma says

    8th March 2016 at 9:26 PM

    I had this in the past because it was my young daughter who the badge belonged too. Some saw me and made comments and then I pointed out it was my daughter who was disabled. They then tended to look very sheepish.
    Emma recently posted…Parity and raising strong childrenMy Profile

    Reply
  13. vicky says

    8th March 2016 at 9:31 PM

    people don’t often look past the smile, they dont bother to ask how you are. A smile hides a multitude of feelings

    Reply
  14. Afshan Nasim says

    8th March 2016 at 9:49 PM

    This is truly an inspirational blog. Well done to have smiled. I hope your pain is relieved. God bless. Afshan. 🙂

    Reply
  15. Emma T says

    8th March 2016 at 10:21 PM

    Sorry to hear you’ve so much pain. Before I blogged I didn’t know anyone who had chronic pain. Now I know of lots and it’s so important to increase understanding of how people have different problems and how to deal with it.

    Reply
  16. Grant R says

    9th March 2016 at 6:32 AM

    Sorry to hear about this. My wife has similar issues and it’s unimaginably distressing. 🙁
    Grant R recently posted…Can you guess the movies? Round 2My Profile

    Reply
  17. Sarah says

    9th March 2016 at 9:25 AM

    awww, bless you. I’m so sorry to hear about your pain 🙁 i can relate because I struggle with pain on an (almost) daily basis too. I have a rare brain disease that causes headaches and visual problems. I can relate to your pain and how you’re feeling and it’s very hard to put a smile on. You are a very strong person. Sending hugs! xx

    Reply
  18. Erica Price says

    9th March 2016 at 9:36 AM

    It must be tough on good days never mind the bad days. I’m always impressed by how you keep going. x
    Erica Price recently posted…A Day In A Cat’s LifeMy Profile

    Reply
  19. Jodie says

    9th March 2016 at 12:49 PM

    Reading this made me feel so sad. I’ve been suffering from severe psoriatic arthritis in my left foot for the last couple of weeks, which has made it really difficult to walk. I’ve been so self-conscious hobbling from the tube to the office every day, but this has put it into perspective for me a lot.

    Reply
  20. Little Pickle's Mom says

    9th March 2016 at 2:38 PM

    You are incredible – I’m so sorry to hear how painful day to day life is for you, and I wish I could wave a magic wand and make it all disappear. But take solace in that there are those of us out there who are very sympathetic and understanding of disabilities – and I like to think that most people are! It’s just those idiot, closeminded people who just have no empathy or understanding. Keep smiling, when you can, and don’t beat yourself up when you can’t.
    Little Pickle’s Mom recently posted…NCT Essentials Antenatal Class – Week ThreeMy Profile

    Reply
  21. Cathy Glynn says

    9th March 2016 at 2:55 PM

    I really hope you see some improvement soon, I have a chronic back condition and know how bad pain can be on a daily basis. Xx

    Reply
  22. Sarah MumofThree World says

    9th March 2016 at 5:45 PM

    This sounds absolutely horrendous and you have my utmost respect for dealing with it and smiling the way you do. You are an amazing woman!
    Sarah MumofThree World recently posted…A parents’ evening to be proud ofMy Profile

    Reply
  23. nessjibberjabberuk says

    9th March 2016 at 8:31 PM

    I wish I could wave a magic wave and make it all go away for you. You are a very resilient and brave lady.
    nessjibberjabberuk recently posted…A Taste of GracewellMy Profile

    Reply
  24. Esther says

    9th March 2016 at 9:35 PM

    Very inspiring post indeed and you are certainly a strong woman. Still be able to do all these things and refusing to be held by challenges is indeed very inspiring.
    Esther recently posted…7 Successful Women Bursting through the Gender Pay GapMy Profile

    Reply
  25. Fashion and Style Police says

    10th March 2016 at 11:48 AM

    What a lovely post. Sorry to hear about your pain. Sending you virtual hugs x
    Fashion and Style Police recently posted…Beauty Treatments I Want UpdateMy Profile

    Reply
  26. Renna says

    10th March 2016 at 9:31 PM

    My thoughts are with you. You’re a very brave lady.

    Reply
  27. Jenny says

    10th March 2016 at 10:04 PM

    Sorry to hear you are going through this.
    Jenny recently posted…What I’m reading: London Stitch & KnitMy Profile

    Reply
  28. Candace says

    14th April 2016 at 2:19 PM

    I get it all the time I look well and my daughters does too. It’s hard to change people’s views but I’ll never give up trying.

    Reply

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Welcome to Buckets Of Tea. I’m Candace, a 40 something tea drinker renovating my forever home, a 125 year old former dairy in North Wales.

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