Is not always what you imagine.
Sometimes behind that smile is pain.
Really physical pain.
I said it.
Not really the whole truth.
Its not just limited to some days. It happens everyday.
Some good, not being able to walk days. Others, just normal pain days.
Pain shouldn’t be normal.
But for me it is.
Struggling to walk pain.
Struggling to move.
Struggling to live life.
I’m struggling to type this. Every time a finger touches one of the keys on my keyboard, it hurts.
I went to the toilet earlier. I had to use a wheelchair to get there.
I then had to ask my daughter to pull my underwear up. You see not only could I not bend but it hurt too much to hold it in my hand. I just couldn’t make a grasping hand.
It really hurt.
Yesterday, you would look at me and think wow she looks well.
Today, you would look at me and think I look old. Very old. Unable to stand up straight.
Today, you would say I look sad. Unable to move without tears rolling down my face.
Today, you would look at me and think I was broken.
But I will pick myself up and put on a smile.
The days you go out with a smile on your face, it still hurts.
It really hurts.
But you put that smile on and face the world.
Just because you see a smile, it doesn’t mean someone is not hurting.
Next time you judge someone with a disabled parking badge or using a disabled toilet. Step back for one minute and think, well done them. They are getting up and getting out. It may have taken every ounce of strength to do that. It may have taken 2 hours to shower and dress. But they did it. The have fought through the pain and are smiling.
You can’t always see the pain behind the smile.