It’s Sunday afternoon, I’m looking at a humongous pile of sock yarn and if I’m being honest I’m quite frankly faffing. There are plenty of things I could be doing. I could be catching up on work. Since coming out of hospital I have really been struggling with my energy levels and also my concentration. I’m just so tired.
My GP told me that it will take a long time to get back to how I was before I went in to hospital. I didn’t have one thing wrong with me, I had six different and quite serious medical problems one after the other. She said she was shocked that I had gone through so much. I know the hospital were surprised I came out alive. It was that serious.
After all this I have taken some time to think about life. Nearly dying makes you evaluate a lot of things. Sadly a certain person (A) had other plans for what I would have liked to happen. The strange thing is that A really shouldn’t have had any say in the matter but the person (TB) involved wasn’t able to tell them it wasn’t any of their business. Then came the ultimatums from A’s daughter (B) and she then became the one calling the shots. Over the years B had developed their behaviour in to an art form to get their own way, time after time. Some really good threats would be made if they ever thought they wouldn’t get their own way. It would have been ‘cute’ if this person was a 6 or 7 year old child but no, B an 18 year old adult. Stupid thing was, there was no threat to A or B’s relationship with TB at all. Nothing would have affected their lives. B gave her ultimatum to TB because she was just too selfish and immature and just thought about what she wanted. She didn’t care who she hurt along the way either as long as she got what she wanted. Her family had allowed B to behave like this and had just tip toed round her when these threats and outbursts came and backed down to her demands. Ok, they owed me nothing, there really didn’t have to think about my dreams and hopes but they dashed those of TB also. A person they supposedly loved and cared for. TB didn’t have the guts to say I want to be happy. TB didn’t have the guts to say I can have you and someone else in my life and love you both. This person didn’t have the guts to stand up and say to them nothing will ever change between us, I will always love and I will always be there for you.
Thing was this hatred towards me from B and fueled by A for me had been going on the long time and I had been lead to believe things were fine. All alog TB had been telling each of us what we wanted to hear to try and keep the peace with all three of us. I’m glad I saw all their true colours as now I wouldn’t have to continue living a lie. As I had been living a lie for 11 months and nobody told me. I was just in the wrong when I complained about being in the dark to all that was going on behind my back. But I’ll go to sleep at night knowing I didn’t lie to others. That’s something I know other parties to this can’t do and then there is karma for them to think about at night when they try to sleep……
Fast forward to this afternoon, nearly 4 weeks later. I’ve sorted Plan B and I’m now getting on with my life without deceitful people who don’t have the guts to stand up to a manipulative person. Making demands if you don’t get your own way is cute at 6 or 7 like I said above but at 18 it can only be described as being deliberately manipulative and bitchy. Plan B is going to bring big changes to my life and lots of planning and organising. I decided today I’d sort my sock yarn and I got a little carried away. In fact I started caking some of my skeins, matching cuff/heel and sock yarns together. Then I started casting on yet another pair of socks. But do you know what? After everything that has gone on since mid March I can honestly say there are worst things I could to do on a Sunday afternoon.
Hope you have done something fun just for you? Something that someone else would describe as faffing? Let me know how you while away a quite Sunday afternoon by faffing?