What Is Love?

I really think the work ‘love’ is used to often in inappropriate circumstances too often. I believe until you really have had your heart truly broken you can’t appreciate love in its rawest form which is what we should be striving for. Love is used to often to relate to material and frivolous things. That to me has nothing to do with love. It’s about putting everything on hold or at risk for someone, the desire to need nothing else in your life.

But your heart can break so badly when you are told you are loved and you find out those words were said to draw you in to a persons cruel game. You find out the love was one sided. It had to be one sided because if they truly loved you like they said they wouldn’t have treated you like a throw away commodity.

The human heart is not a commodity to use and abuse for your own purposes. The betrayal felt and scars left can last a lifetime. To protect themselves people put up barriers and often find it so difficult to let others in ever again.  To let others see the real them because they are so afraid of going through that hurt again.

But sometimes they feel an amazing connection with another and over time those barriers come down. To then be betrayed again can be devastating.

Honesty costs nothing. If you are lacking something in your life because someone hurt you, don’t go and look for that missing element with another. Don’t throw the word ‘love’ around unless you mean it with all your heart. Don’t go in to relationships half heartedly. It’s unfair.

Sort your own issues out and don’t look for the one thing you are missing in your life with another until you have. Love means giving your whole and if you can’t do that then have the decency to walk away before someone gives you their heart.


  • clare

    30th April 2017 at 11:15 AM

    This is appropriate for me right now, trying to mend another broken heart and wondering why people mess around withotheres feeling…nice to know I am not alone 🙂

    1. Candace

      30th April 2017 at 2:19 PM

      It’s not nice but we will drag ourselves up x

  • Melissa

    30th April 2017 at 2:40 PM

    You are very right. Honesty costs nothing! I wrote a blog post some time ago about people who lie to those who love them most. Somebody asked where I’d heard such depressing stories…. The truth is, I’m hearing them more than I like. I’d prefer it if someone told me upfront who they were and how they felt vs me finding out after investing time and love on them. I promise you though, the brokenness will disappear one day, when you’re not even trying…

    1. Candace

      30th April 2017 at 2:55 PM

      Thank you so much for your kind words. I’m angry I invested time in to a situation I didn’t know the full story to and after I’ve found things out I don’t get an explanation. That’s the bit that really hurts

  • Amelia

    30th April 2017 at 3:36 PM

    Well said I have always said it isn’t fair to someone to put your happiness on their shoulders. That has to start with you.
    Amelia recently posted…Instagram Accounts I’m currently diggingMy Profile

  • Candy

    1st May 2017 at 3:13 PM

    Love is a word that should be used with meaning and true intentions.

  • Kristen

    2nd May 2017 at 12:28 AM

    I’m sorry things have been going so badly. Hugs.
    Kristen recently posted…Meet A Maker: Crocheting with The Warm YetiMy Profile

  • Kirstie

    2nd May 2017 at 5:19 PM

    I think there are people who don’t want to put in the effort required of love, it’s all about them. It can be so tough when we think we know someone, and then their Jekyll and Hyde personality kicks in. I’m glad you wrote this addressing the need for selflessness in love because love really is meant to be about great depth, and not about what we can get out of another.
    Kirstie recently posted…The Fine Art of Porch SwingingMy Profile

    1. Candace

      2nd May 2017 at 5:22 PM

      Love certainly is about great depth and not seeing what you can get out of someone

  • Norma Gail

    3rd May 2017 at 11:33 PM

    So true! Thanks for sharing!

  • Molly Stevens

    21st May 2017 at 12:11 PM

    I love nachos and they have never let me down. 😉 Important post about how human love can hurt.

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