That’s exactly what life has done to me this year; throw me a curve ball. In truth life has thrown more than one curve ball this year. A couple of them have resulted in good things happening and other have resulted in not such good things occurring but either way they have certainly made me stronger, made me slow down and evaluate other things in my life and prompted me to make changes.
There really is no denying that modern life can come at you real fast. I think we are all guilty to some extent of taking more on than we should. this year for me has certainly been one of those years. I’ve had four unexpected curve balls thrown at me this year. Two of them I certainly didn’t want, one to some extent was expected but came at me far harder than I ever would have expected and is still ruling most of my life and will take a great deal more time than I ever imagined to get over and the fourth? Well, I never expected that, didn’t want it and has shook the hell out of me. Deep down, I don’t think I’ll ever get over what happened as it was a string of events out of my control and I spent a great number of weeks just sat waiting for something to happen. I didn’t want this curve ball but I know I could have lived with it but I don’t think I will ever get over what the eventual outcome was.
This year, I have needed to reassess what I want out of life and how I am going to get there. None of these curve balls are going to go away overnight. I’m trying my hardest to move on with determination but when part of moving on involves others, its hard. No matter how many goals you set, how hard you try to move on, if someone won’t let you move on, it’s hard. It’s hard enough to have control over our own actions at times but you can never have control over someone else’s.
It’s especially difficult when the curve ball was their doing, yet they are acting as if it didn’t get thrown. The event didn’t happen. They just won’t let you move on as they keep popping in to your life. The strange thing is, I don’t know whether or not they realise I know they are still watching what I do. But it’s too late to change what is as I have to put myself first. My happiness is what takes priority and it’s taken me a long time to be able to say that.
From now on I’m going to remember why I am doing things. The ultimate reason is for my happiness. that’s what I have control over. No more am I going to have goals and just as I get in to the rhythm and routine of working towards these goals suddenly find I’m physically and mentally drained by working towards this goals and life in general and just come to the conclusion I can’t carry on. I know I can continue to carry on as I am the one who is in charge of my happiness and I can change the path I follow. If other people are trying to control my happiness, I won’t let them.
We have all been in this position in some shape, form or fashion. it’s been ingrained in us from children that life is about luck. But it isn’t. You do have the power and strength to control your destiny. This may mean you have to take a different or more difficult path but we can all find the road to happiness if this is what we truly want. Some days it isn’t easy to keep motivated and continue on our path. Some days life will seem monotonous and we think it’s easier to continue down this specific path. We shouldn’t feel we have to accept second best. Instead we should remember why we are going down this specific path and if we are struggling then we should evaluate where we are and look where we want to be. Then plan, plan, plan.
We need to remember that we are all human. Naturally we react to things based on our emotions. This isn’t necessarily a bad thing. Our emotions will show us exactly how we feel about our current circumstances and if you feel as if you want to just give up, then you most certainly will. However, if we just take a step back we can continue towards our desired goal. Thinking about our goals will also help us to determine whether or not the goals we set are right for us. There is nothing wrong in changing our goals or taking a different path to reach them. Just reevaluate where you need to be, and what you need to be doing.
In order to reach our goals we need to break them down in to bite size chunks. It’s no good saying I am going to buy a house in X. You need to break down what you need to do to achieve this goal. Do you already have a house that needs to be sold to realise this goal? Do you currently rent or live with your parents and you need to save a deposit. Whatever your goal is break it down in to what you need to do to make that goal become a reality. then plan, plan, plan how you will achieve each section of your plan. If you don’t have a plan as to how you are going to accomplish something, you are setting yourself up for failure. By taking your goal and breaking it down into steps as to how to complete it, you are giving yourself a head start to make sure you reach your goals.
If after all of this you realise that your goals are becoming difficult to achieve; then it will be time to refine your goal into something more manageable. Change the path you are on to achieve your goal. but also use this time to decide how working towards your goal has made you feel. If you don’t feel good about it, you may need to change it. But remember, working towards a goal isn’t easy. But you can do little things along the way to make sure that you don’t get worn out or begin to despise the goal that you set.
For me, over the next 12 months I’m concentrating on health, wealth and happiness. What are your goals and how do you stay motivated to achieve your goals?