When Life Throws You A Curve Ball

That’s exactly what life has done to me this year; throw me a curve ball.  In truth life has thrown more than one curve ball this year.  A couple of them have resulted in good things happening and other have resulted in not such good things occurring but either way they have certainly made me stronger, made me slow down and evaluate other things in my life and prompted me to make changes.

There really is no denying that modern life can come at you real fast.  I think we are all guilty to some extent of taking more on than we should.  this year for me has certainly been one of those years.  I’ve had four unexpected curve balls thrown at me this year.  Two of them I certainly didn’t want, one to some extent was expected but came at me far harder than I ever would have expected and is still ruling most of my life and will take a great deal more time than I ever imagined to get over and the fourth?  Well, I never expected that, didn’t want it and has shook the hell out of me.  Deep down, I don’t think I’ll ever get over what happened as it was a string of events out of my control and I spent a great number of weeks just sat waiting for something to happen.  I didn’t want this curve ball but I know I could have lived with it but I don’t think I will ever get over what the eventual outcome was.

This year, I have needed to reassess what I want out of life and how I am going to get there.  None of these curve balls are going to go away overnight.  I’m trying my hardest to move on with determination but when part of moving on involves others, its hard.  No matter how many goals you set, how hard you try to move on, if someone won’t let you move on, it’s hard.  It’s hard enough to have control over our own actions at times but you can never have control over someone else’s.

It’s especially difficult when the curve ball was their doing, yet they are acting as if it didn’t get thrown.  The event didn’t happen.  They just won’t let you move on as they keep popping in to your life.  The strange thing is, I don’t know whether or not they realise I know they are still watching what I do.  But it’s too late to change what is as I have to put myself first.  My happiness is what takes priority and it’s taken me a long time to be able to say that.

From now on I’m going to remember why I am doing things.  The ultimate reason is for my happiness.  that’s what I have control over.  No more am I going to have goals and just as I get in to the rhythm and routine of working towards these goals suddenly find I’m physically and mentally drained by working towards this goals and life in general and just come to the conclusion I can’t carry on.  I know I can continue to carry on as I am the one who is in charge of my happiness and I can change the path I follow.  If other people are trying to control my happiness, I won’t let them.

We have all been in this position in some shape, form or fashion.  it’s been ingrained in us from children that life is about luck.  But it isn’t.  You do have the power and strength to control your destiny.  This may mean you have to take a different or more difficult path but we can all find the road to happiness if this is what we truly want.  Some days it isn’t easy to keep motivated and continue on our path.  Some days life will seem monotonous and we think it’s easier to continue down this specific path.  We shouldn’t feel we have to accept second best.  Instead we should remember why we are going down this specific path and if we are struggling then we should evaluate where we are and look where we want to be.  Then plan, plan, plan.

We need to remember that we are all human.  Naturally we react to things based on our emotions.  This isn’t necessarily a bad thing.  Our emotions will show us exactly how we feel about our current circumstances and  if you feel as if you want to just give up, then you most certainly will.  However, if we just take a step back we can continue towards our desired goal.  Thinking about our goals will also help us to determine whether or not the goals we set are right for us. There is nothing wrong in changing our goals or taking a different path to reach them.   Just reevaluate where you need to be, and what you need to be doing.

In order to reach our goals we need to break them down in to bite size chunks.  It’s no good saying I am going to buy a house in X.  You need to break down what you need to do to achieve this goal.  Do you already have a house that needs to be sold to realise this goal?  Do you currently rent or live with your parents and you need to save a deposit.  Whatever your goal is break it down in to what you need to do to make that goal become a reality.  then plan, plan, plan how you will achieve each section of your plan.  If you don’t have a plan as to how you are going to accomplish something, you are setting yourself up for failure.  By taking your goal and breaking it down into steps as to how to complete it, you are giving yourself a head start to make sure you reach your goals.

If after all of this you realise that your goals are becoming difficult to achieve; then it will be time to refine your goal into something more manageable.  Change the path you are on to achieve your goal. but also use this time to decide how working towards your goal has made you feel.  If you don’t feel good about it, you may need to change it.  But remember, working towards a goal isn’t easy. But you can do little things along the way to make sure that you don’t get worn out or begin to despise the goal that you set.

For me, over the next 12 months I’m concentrating on health, wealth and happiness.  What are your goals and how do you stay motivated to achieve your goals?

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19 Comments

  1. 28th October 2017 / 2:35 PM

    You’re a strong woman Candace! I admire you for standing strong despite the curve balls thrown at you this year. It’s true we don’t have control over the throw of the ball, but we can sure as hell choose how we catch it!

  2. 4th November 2017 / 12:02 PM

    You are SO right, our happiness and destiny is the one thing we, as women, do have control over! It sounds like you’ve had a really tough year but are coming out the other side of it stronger and happier. Believe in yourself and keep moving forwards. xx

  3. 4th November 2017 / 11:19 PM

    I found this such a good read. You sound like a very strong woman. You are very right though in everything you say. Our own happiness etc has to be a priority and like you I am putting that foremost in my 2018 goals. X

  4. 5th November 2017 / 10:20 AM

    Great post. Wealth and happiness over here too. Here’s hoping we achieve all our goals x

  5. 5th November 2017 / 7:36 PM

    Such an interesting read. Life can be so tough sometimes, but refocusing and remembering why you’re doing things is so important x

  6. 6th November 2017 / 9:52 AM

    Yes, it is great to remember WHY you are doing things and why you do things.

    “It’s especially difficult when the curve ball was their doing, yet they are acting as if it didn’t get thrown. The event didn’t happen. They just won’t let you move on as they keep popping in to your life. The strange thing is, I don’t know whether or not they realise I know they are still watching what I do. But it’s too late to change what is as I have to put myself first. My happiness is what takes priority and it’s taken me a long time to be able to say that.”

    Yes, you are watching and they are watching. There is a lot of watching.

    And happiness!

  7. 6th November 2017 / 12:06 PM

    The joys of curveballs… ugh! I’ve recently started going to bed earlier to make sure I have more energy during the day. It’s a small goal but it’s been working so I’m keeping at it. As a single mama with kids (one with autism), trying to earn from my blog, and studying a degree with the open uni, along with keeping the house relatively clean and such, it’s not easy to keep everything ticking over, but getting to bed by 11pm every night at the latest is definitely making a difference.
    I’m happy to see you’re focussing on your happiness. I learned a fair while ago now that it has to come from within, rather than expecting others to make it happen. <3

  8. 6th November 2017 / 12:29 PM

    Sorry to hear you’ve had the curveballs this year too… but great post with lots of good advice for others – and hopefully writing it all down will make you stick to it too! Thanks for joining #TheMMLinky x

  9. 6th November 2017 / 3:46 PM

    As someone who has more than fair share of their curve balls I can thoroughly agree with you on this. I often move the goalposts and set out plans, but I’m ready to adjust the plans if needed. I have also come to realise that happiness is not something you can strive for, it’s something you decided to have. Keep on with an attitude like this and you’ll be just fine x
    #TheMMlinky

  10. 7th November 2017 / 2:21 AM

    I feel this on a personal level. My life has been curve ball after curve ball for the past two and a half years. One of those curveballs came in the form of falling in love with my best friend right before going off to college (if that counts) which has been such a blessing. He has been the only constant for me and has really helped me through the hard times which has been amazing!

  11. 7th November 2017 / 4:28 AM

    So sorry for your rather rollercoaster of a year! I totally understand. One of the things that people tend to do in the midst of hurt, is to tighten up the controls, and plan more, in order to avoid any future whammies. But, the truth is, we cannot program the curveballs out of life, no matter how hard we may try. I personally did that, I tried to plan, plan plan, and analyzed everything to no end, and it caused me so much stress that I physically got sick. The best plan for me is holding the plan loosely, letting go, prayer and meditating on scriptures; this helped me so much, to inspire me to pick myself up and go again. I just wanted to say that my heart goes out to you, and I pray that your year-end and going on into 2018 is amazing, and surprises you with good things. Also, I look forward to seeing your blog bloom and grow! Thanks for your transparency!

  12. 7th November 2017 / 12:45 PM

    it is true the saying that no one said that life will be easy, they just promise that it will be worth it. I hope you dodge all the curveball that life is throwing your way. all the best.

  13. Pankaj
    7th November 2017 / 12:58 PM

    That’s it….keep fighting. Remember worst situations always gives birth to the strongest fighter.

  14. 7th November 2017 / 9:20 PM

    Yes, We are going through a major curve ball right now, and it is hard!!! But we will make it.

  15. 8th November 2017 / 3:50 PM

    inspirational post, thanks for sharing. i really like your view/ take on the unexpected things that can happen to us in our lives. these unexpected things can really derail us!

  16. 10th November 2017 / 8:35 PM

    I love your attitude. Curveballs can suck, and how do you prepare for the unexpected? This is a truly inspirational post, thanks so much for sharing. #theMMLinky

  17. 11th November 2017 / 7:04 AM

    I’m sorry you are having such a tricky time of things at the moment. Sounds like you’ve developed a good attitude towards it though! Thanks for joining in #TheMMLinky

  18. 15th November 2017 / 8:29 PM

    Sounds like you’ve had a tough year, but well done for getting through it with a positive outlook. My goal at the moment is to make my blog a success, and finish the Christmas shopping!!! #BlogCrush

  19. 22nd November 2017 / 7:39 AM

    I know you have the strength to get through this. You have the determination to see it through. Luck isn’t the be all and end all, we do shape our own destiny, but it would be nice if 2018 was better on the luck front for you – you deserve it. x

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